SO today I did something I have never before done before and it felt sooooo good. I had read about smudging...burning white sage to get rid of negative energy and bring on the positive. I think it is a bit deeper than this, Native American's as I understand it use it for removing harmful spirits...really I think it is all in the same.
Well I needed some negative energy removed that is for sure. I don't know about you but sometimes I find I have a tendancy to wallow like a big old sow in the mud of my fears. I make a right drama out of it and if there isn't a drama to be had well I will make one to suit my mood....this is not my higher self at work that is for sure.
Well this sow...bitch...grumpy smurf what ever you want to call her had a right field day in my head of late. I have had enough...so I evicted her. Told her I know she used to live here but my Goddess is in charge now and well she can live in the broom closet if she likes but that is it. Every once in a while she can come out and clean up some unresolved stuff but for now her services were no longer required and I was done with the pity party. I have a dream to live and no more sucking the life from it.
So I burned the sage. I am looking around my beautiful smoky studio and feeling right proud of myself. I wrote down on little pieces of paper my fears that had been bouncing around in my head like some one had let loose a bucket full of bouncy balls. and I burned the farkers. "I'm too cubby to photograph fashion"----seriously who the bleep cares...I photograph real women anyway it probably puts some at ease that my bum is lumpier than theirs. "I am too disorganized to run a business."---THen I thought back to how I was before I challenged myself with this business to where I am now...can hardly recognize myself. Yes I still make mistakes but I am learning and improving systems everyday. "It is too hard!" Dear god woman you work in a beautiful studio with beautiful people, your work is darn good stop focusing on the piddly shit...you aren't having to forage your food in a rubbish tip...you are working in a business that you love...come on...wake up!!!!
So I did. I stopped grizzling for today. I wrote down all of the dreams I have for the studio again. And sent them up with the Sage. I imagine that they along with the smoke were filling my studio with love. That is really the cruxt of it. I chose love over fear. It is something I constantly have to remind myself to do. That and stay present in the moment. So for today. I am here. I am waiting on a beautiful soul to show up for her photoshoot and I am sending love out to all of you creatives who have bouncy ball days and sending you the love and desire to let those farkers go.....CHOOSE LOVE TOO! Imagine how amazingly wonderful the world would be if we could all chose to live in love instead of fear.....mmmmmm yummy thoughts.
Here is the rubbish bin of burned fears...I highly recommend it..makes you feel so much better.
Hee hee hee two teen age boys just walked past the studio and one looked at the other with wide eyes and said..."dude.... do you smell that?" I about peed myself laughing.
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